Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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