but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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