Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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