I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
