SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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