I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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