I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
