That's intense
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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