Your tits are I can't wait for
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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