i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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