it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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