Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
