She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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