I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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