Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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