So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
