i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
