she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
