Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Text me some of your sweat
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