: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
