i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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