I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
