I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
