so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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