Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
