im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize