with your own penis?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
