and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
