Me too!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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