Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize