Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
