Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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