You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
