Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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