Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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