the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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