no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize