Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
