you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
