waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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