I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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