so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm passing your future prison.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
