i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize