I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
