So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He? As in you personified your dick?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
