JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
