I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
