I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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