hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
