well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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