they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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