Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
