is your mom at the bar?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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