All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
