i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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