He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
