i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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