you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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