the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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