I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
