Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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