Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
