It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sext me about skeletons
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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