Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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