I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
