hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize